Monday, December 21, 2015

10 days old//birth story

I've been horrible with updating this thing-so I'll give a quick little recap of the end.

At my 39w appointment, I was 1cm and 50% effaced. Completely disappointing as I had been having hard contractions for days. My midwife told me that because my abdominal muscles were stretched out (thanks twins... and four pregnancies) basically baby was hanging out front, not pushing down on my cervix like it needed to be. I went right from my appointment to Motherhood to grab a support belt to kind of lift and pull my belly in a bit.

39w1d was December 10-Patrick's last day in the MC. He checked out and we had his going away dinner that night.

2:17am is the first contraction I clocked on the 11th. A super hard contraction woke me up a few minutes before, and I had to use the bathroom so I went in there and plop-plug came out. All of it. After that they kept coming hard and consistent-about 6-7 minutes apart. I called the midwife after about 45 minutes because I was nervous that they'd get closer together quickly and that I wouldn't make it to Savannah. I woke Patrick up and we quickly headed down there. I was still about 6-7 minutes apart, so we went to Waffle House to grab some breakfast. Took a super classy picture there and gorged on the best bacon I've ever had and two massive waffles.

Still contracting about the same, we headed then to Walmart to walk because it was a little too chilly outside. Then they stopped. I was so upset, and kept walking, but nothing. We bought a newspaper and ended up driving home, completely exhausted from only getting a couple hours of sleep and feeling pretty defeated.

We got home, took kids to school, and just kind of moped around for a bit. I went to bed to rest for a little while, but it was hard with the work being done on the addition. Finally I dozed off for about 20-30 minutes and was woke up again with a super hard contraction and I knew at that point it was different because my mood had changed. I got up, came out to the living room, and sat on the exercise ball and clawed at the arm of the couch with every contraction (they were hard but very very sporadic-2-4 minutes apart) but I knew we had to go immediately because I honestly wanted to punch everyone in the face. I called again to let them know we were on our way and we left. The drive was awful, not the peaceful drive we had had at 3 in the morning. Every contraction I was clinging to the car, frantically trying to arrange pickup instructions for the kids in between. And then we got to Bluffton (halfway) and it was there that I realized that we had moved the infant car seat into the back of the van when we took kids to school. Patrick asked if I wanted to turn around... I said yes... and then no. He kept going and immediately after that I had (no joke) a 6 minute contraction. During that, there was a truck that pulled out in front of us, and that hurt pretty bad, having to brake super hard. I was convinced at that point that we weren't going to make it.

Thankfully, however, we did. Once I got out of the car and could move around and was taking my vitals it slowed down a bit... which made me nervous that it was that morning all over again. I was hooked up to the machine shortly after and was contracting for sure, and then the midwife came in and checked me, asked if I was hoping to do a water birth, I said yes, she opened the door and yelled for the nurse to fill the tub NOW because I was at a 9. Cue the tears.

While the tub filled (which takes 15 minutes) I had to sit on the toilet (totally glamorous) in case my water broke before they broke it. It didn't, and when the tub was ready they moved me to the bed, broke my water, water was clear, and I had the blessing to birth in the water.

Patrick and I got in and I relaxed through a few contractions. The water and the bubbles felt so nice. Patrick was his normal jokester self and he and the nurse had a good old time cracking jokes-during contractions they'd be giggling quietly and I'd be begging him to not move an ounce (he was sitting on a step and I was leaning up against him).  It wasn't long before I started pushing though, and it didn't take baby long to really move down. At one point I was feeling pain on the inside of my right leg-on a nerve-and we could see the baby kind of moving during contractions trying to get in the right position. My options were to try to move myself and my leg or get out and on the bed in a different position to help baby adjust-selfish me just adjusted myself as well as I possibly could and thankfully it worked. Then it got intense and a few pushes later-once I got the right position and pushed the right way-baby was out. Jack arrived at 3:36pm-amazing and beautiful with a head full of long, dark hair.

Jack and I snuggled while waiting on the cord-once it stopped pulsating, Patrick cut it and we got out and made our way over to the bed so I could deliver the placenta. That happened, I got two stitches, and we were able to snuggle for quite a long time. The birth center experience is just such a completely overwhelmingly different experience and I am SO SO THANKFUL that I was able to do it. It was seriously the perfect way to finish things up-as Jack will be our last, unless God has other bigger plans for us (and in that case, we will be thrilled about another little blessing). Once I was ready to get up and move around and use the bathroom, they took Jack to weigh and measure him and do his initial examination-perfectly healthy, 8 pounds, 20 inches. And SO MUCH HAIR.

We had a relaxing night just waiting on his bloodwork to come back from the hospital. His respirations were a little high, so we hung out for a little extra time, but we were still discharged at around midnight and were home at 1. Completely whirlwind day-in less than 24 hours we went to Savannah twice, had a baby, and got to come home.

We had such a relaxing first weekend home. Jack is a wonderful baby (so far, haha!). Starting Monday though... that was a completely different story. Reality hit in an awful way. 6 hours in the van, because that's our life... it was like that all week and completely wreaked havoc on my body. I won't sugar coat that it was completely horrible and painful and made me an emotional wreck. Patrick started his new job on Monday, so the first three weeks he works 10 1/2 hour days 6 days a week-not crazy different from the MC but in the MC he had time off after I had a baby to heal. I spent most of the week being frustrated and bitter, but thankfully after a weekend home I'm feeling ok now. I can still feel my insides re-settling but I know I'll get there, and hopefully by the end of this week I'll be feeling like a new person. I know that in the end I won't remember how the week went, but how his birth went-in every way how I hoped it would-with Patrick right there as amazing support and completely trusting my body to do what I know it can do. Empowering in every single way.

Classy picture at Waffle House. I just didn't know if I would have another belly picture. Comparing this one to the 39w picture from two days before, I dropped a ton.

Contractions when they were BAD driving.

Sweet little man's first picture!

And that's where he was born! It was so soothing... the lights were dim, they had a (fake) candle going and the diffuser was on with Peace & Calming in it. 

First hair washing was fun! He loved it.

The nurse had a lot of fun styling it afterwards! Some of the looks he tried out were Donald Trump, Elvis, and the bang spike that was popular in high school for the boys (including Patrick).

First night home went well! It's amazing how restful it can be when someone isn't changing your trash or refilling your water every hour of the night.

Then reality hits-we have five kids. Ahh! 

I just couldn't imagine a more perfect peanut :)

Saturday, November 28, 2015

37w3d

Definitely feeling like I'm in early labor. Very very early-but my emotions are completely off the charts, I'm contracting somewhat regularly (last night was every 12 minutes or so for awhile) and this morning I lost some plug. I'm actually shocked I didn't wake up this morning in labor. We will see for tomorrow!

Monday, November 9, 2015

34w5d

Ok. Lets all say a big prayer that this lovely mood swing is NOT my typical "right before going into labor hormone surge". Evie is licking something on the floor that's driving me completely crazy, I didn't get dinner, and Patrick keeps watching this stupid video on his phone.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

34w4d

sorry 5th baby! This is what happens when you're #5 I guess. We are definitely keeping busy waiting on your arrival!

So many things have changed. I'm now going to (hopefully) give birth at a birth center instead of the hospital here. It's an hour drive, but I feel so much peace in my decision. Tuesday is my first appointment with them technically so it was definitely getting down to the wire to get everything switched over. But we did it!

I've been having an insane amount of contractions-I contracted regularly with A&P from 32w on, but these are totally different. I've been having BH for months too but these are stop me in my tracks painful... As a result I'm hoping that the next few days off for Patrick will be beneficial in me parking in one spot as much as possible, taking the pressure off me in the evenings when it gets worse, and actually get me into my 35th week. Just a couple more weeks to go till we are in the safe zone-I'm hoping and praying we make it. Just like my wishes were with A&P, I want a take home baby (this time that I hopefully birth in the water!)

This baby is still VERY wiggly and is liking to flip all over the place. Just when I'm excited and think he or she is head down, I get some VERY transverse movements.

I've been working on getting a few milk donors together too. It makes me so happy that this babe will have the benefit of breastmilk-especially since this is a definite winter baby and heaven knows we always have a million getms floating through the house.

And speaking of germs-I have my very first sinus infection of my life. It's been completely miserable.

Sweet moment that I never want to forget though-sneaking an ice cream in bed with Emma tonight at 10pm :) :)

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Sunday, August 30, 2015

24w4d

Hooooly smokes... well I'm a lot more pregnant than the last time I posted. Feeling ok still-belly is most definitely there and most definitely moving and shaking. I have an active little baby on my hands-and I love it. Maya's face the first time she felt it kicking was priceless of course.

Nothing really new about it to report-I have monthly massages and yesterday was the first one I couldn't lay on my belly for. It was a bummer-but we made it work. I still have an appetite for pretty much nothing. We have a boy name, but no clue on a girl name. Thankful to get past the 24w mark-just keeping on trucking at this point!

Thursday, August 6, 2015

21w1d

Well, thought the baby was still riding low... I usually feel kicks around my left hipbone. Tonight I felt a few whoppers all of a sudden under my right rib, strong enough that Patrick could feel! Safe to say baby is up far higher than I thought!

Sunday, July 26, 2015

19w4d

Goodness I'm horrible at getting to this. At least I'm a little better with taking weekly pictures than I was with Emma.. Though I did forget one last week!

I can't believe I'm pretty much halfway through. I had the anatomy scan on Wednesday and was successful in NOT finding out if baby is a boy or girl... for a minute I questioned the decision but I know in the end I'll be so happy I did it! Everything looked great though and measured pretty right on (2 days ahead) and heart rate was 142. Baby was moving and wiggling away! I can't tell if the profile looks more like Patrick's or the girls', I see both in the pictures I got. Leaning more toward Patrick's, but who knows.

Last night I felt kicks from the outside! I'm in love and vow to cherish every one. Even when I'm in that last stretch. 

The constant fatigue is definitely getting to me and definitely like a permanent fog right now. I'm going to start back on a couple different supplements that I took before I was pregnant to see if it helps... Gosh I hope so especially with the kids starting school soon (though maybe that will help too?) but most of the time I can hardly move and that's getting super super old.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

18w3d

Baby kicks! Not just movement, but little teeny tiny kicks tonight :)

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

18w

No posts lately because thankfully, it's been a very uneventful pregnancy! I had a doc visit last week-heartbeat was good, had some labs drawn, super quick. I was getting a little bit of energy back, but it seems to be gone again, haha! I can't believe how quick this is flying. I've been able to feel movement here and there-I can't wait for sweet baby kicks all the time!

Saturday, June 13, 2015

13w3d

Today I am mostly sure I felt movement! I don't think I ever did this early any other time, but I was sitting on the floor kind of hunched over giving little P his meds and dinner and I could feel something right in that area! Hello, baby :) <3

Thursday, June 11, 2015

13w

Wow! Second trimester already. This is seriously flying by. I had my second baby appointment today-got to see baby, he or she was wiggling around like crazy, and I'm pretty sure had the hiccups! Not sure if it's possible at this age yet. Sweet little thing. Baby is measuring a week big but thankfully I didn't have to argue to keep my due date the same. Everything else looked good and right on track though!


(4th pregnancy and having a little extra to begin with isn't merciful, haha!)


12w4d

Pregnancy: where 10pm feels like 4am.

12w

Only one more week to go in the first trimester! Jeesh has this moved fast.

Today was a good baby day. I slept a lot more than usual last night, had more than usual to eat today (for lunch: antipasta salad, Waldorf salad, and a bowl of Life cereal-HELLO pregnancy) and I got to hear baby's heartbeat! Elysia has a Doppler and after some fussing with it, we finally found it... What a sweet sound as I only got to see it during my scan last time! Just now before climbing into bed I found it again too-this time it was a little less wiggly and about lulled me to sleep with the sound. You are so loved, baby!

video



Tuesday, June 2, 2015

11w5d

Another super rough evening where I basically couldn't move. The nausea tonight was overwhelming-but it was more than just nausea, I actually feared I was going to be sick sick this time.  Every single smell put me over the edge-Emma's diaper, Maya's pizza breath... ick. At 5:45 I had no idea how I would make it to bedtime but I finally did, thank goodness.

I'm becoming increasingly aware of my uterus. It's definitely growing!


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

11w

I can't believe I'm this far already. Past pregnancies seemed to creep to this point-this time it's flying. 2 more weeks and I'm in the second trimester... Huh?!?! At least I bought a belly book already... Now I just need to fill it out!

Today emotions have been running high. Way too high. And my house is trashed so I'm stressed. Every single day I think "oh I'll do it tomorrow"...one of these days that's not going to serve me well at all, especially when the addition gets going!

Saturday, May 23, 2015

10w3d

Through all of this so far I've learned the importance of taking care of myself, especially since I don't have anyone here to do it for me-to make sure I'm eating, to rub my feet when they are sore. Last week I woke up with a horrible kink in my neck that ran down my back. It was there for days and finally I broke down and scheduled a massage for myself-and I even walked on the wild side and scheduled it for 90 minutes! Woohoo! I figure if I am going to start treating myself, I'm going to really treat myself. After I was done I went ahead and signed up for a membership so I can keep getting this done once a month. It's going to be completely imperative through this pregnancy especially. The knot in my neck is gone... I'm hoping to sleep wonderfully (HA-decent at best) tonight.

Speaking of sleep, I had my first super vivid pregnancy dream last night-it was a horrible nightmare that someone had a gun and a flashlight and was trying to break into my house via the sliding glass door. My neighbors came to the rescue but it was still one of the most terrifying dreams I've had in a long long time. Hopefully it's not a repeating theme or anything.

I'm still pretty nauseous most of the time. I'm able to get down breakfast and then something mid afternoon. That's still a major improvement so I'll take it, but I'm very much looking forward to this part being gone forever.

I wore a maternity shirt today because my other regular shirts are starting to get a little short (laaaaame). Maternity pants are awesome though.

Also today I was so tired that I cried on the phone with P. I had a question for him so I called him, he hadn't been answering my texts-he had fallen asleep. This is after I spent the entire afternoon begging the girls to please take a quiet time so I can rest. If I'm going to survive summer break with this pregnancy the addition to the house is going to HAVE to be done. So needless to say I got a weeeeee bit emotional because I'm just that wiped. It's 9pm and I don't think I can bring myself to even run the dishwasher right now... The house isn't DIRTY per say, there is just a lot to pick up. Maybe tomorrow. I think that will be the theme for this pregnancy.



Friday, May 15, 2015

9w2d

Weeeellll, the kids know now.  Two days ago I had the ultrasound picture out to show a friend and completely forgot to put it away. Maya saw it after school, and since she's obsessed with babies and has seen the other ultrasound pictures before, she quickly came to the conclusion that this was a new little brother or sister and flipped. Screaming, squealing, jumping all over the place! She's thrilled and hopes for another brother, and asked if she could be there when the baby is born.

Today I wore maternity pants for the first time this pregnancy. I could still fit into my regular ones for awhile I'm sure, but unless I have a very loose top on I have some unflattering lines going on so for the most part this will be easier.

I'm having a hard time not being completely hateful and bitter toward Patrick right now (hey, just being honest). I'm so completely and utterly exhausted and drained-at this point in the other pregnancies he would have made me go sit down and he would take care of whatever, but this time is so completely different... There is no choice at all. If the kids are to be fed, I am to do it. My house is trashed, I better pray for a burst of energy. My knee is killing me-suck it up, buttercup!

It is one of those nights, however, that I'm about to be in bed by 9. The dishwasher just beeped and there's nothing crucial that needs to be washed. I get up early by nature anyway so I'll just shower then (or make better friends with my dry shampoo). Can't wait till this part has passed!

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

8w6d

I've been feeling sooooo tired lately. Pretty overwhelmingly- my house has been trashed for days (not just "four kids live here" trashed, "please don't come into my house" trashed). I'm sure it would help if I actually got decent sleep at night but between nightmares, Emma's teething, and Patrick's seizures, that's impossible. I sit on the couch now and can't move-I've been trying to fold a load of laundry for an hour-a load of towels. Pathetic. It's seriously going to be a miracle if I survive this.

My aversions to everything are pretty strong too, and if I do manage to eat I feel miserable afterwards.

I did finally order a couple maternity clothing items though as I know I will be definitely expanding in a couple of weeks. I just need something a little more forgiving and a little looser around the belly! I'm going to have to go back and look what I grew like with Emma, as I'm sure this time will be similar.


Thursday, May 7, 2015

8w1d

I'm hoping to be able to write more as things get easier around here. The past few weeks have been a challenge getting used to being on my own and our new routine-I've been horribly sick and soooo tired all the time. I'm eating and sleeping a little better-so that's a start.

Today I went in for my initial OB visit-which included an ultrasound! I was very excited to see that I will be loving on just one baby again this time :) heart rate was strong at 166bpm, and as can be expected at 8w baby was just a little teeny blob, not much movement-but a sweet little blob at that! This baby is already so precious and so loved.

Thursday, April 9, 2015

4w1d

Weeeelllll.... here we go again! This time is already very very different since we are at a completely different point in our lives than we were before. We joked about this happening as soon as we did the addition on our house... and here it is! Last week I started having awful sciatic nerve pain. It's something that bothers me on occasion, and I can get stuck sitting on the floor because of it, but this was different. I had a feeling something was up.

Fast forward to Saturday-I was taking brownies to Elysia (to try to evict HER baby!) and asked if she had extra tests. She did, I used it (incorrectly haha-I was too impatient to get a cup) and it seemed like there was something but likely an evaporation line. So I tossed it, went through the rest of the evening which involved taking little Patrick to the ER and standing next to him as he got a chest X-Ray. Brilliant.

On Monday I was having some slight cramping, so I decided in the afternoon to test again. With a cup this time. And it was positive. Grabbed a FRER and a digital from Walmart later, and both were very positive. I told Patrick on Tuesday, and today (Thursday) I got more tests-the positive line on the FRER popped up immediately and the digital is saying Pregnant, 2-3 weeks. So of course, again, I'm going to be antsy until I know how many are in there (since my chances are higher having had spontaneous twins before and I'm over 30 now).

This changes a lot of things for us, especially since Patrick is getting out soon (8 days after my due date) and I was going to work this fall-but I'm thankful for God's perfect timing and knowing what we need better than what we think we need. <3