5w3d

I feel horrible today, and unfortunately so does Maya-she is sprouting a case of the chickenpox. Thank goodness for the lifelong immunity I got when I was TEN and had them (yup, awful).

I've had a headache all day, which could be contributed to pregnancy or the off the wall barometric pressure. I've felt queasy, which could be pregnancy or me getting sick (it's going around). I ate ONE bite of my barbecue chicken sandwich and couldn't eat anymore (who AM I??), but feasted on sweet potatoes... I don't like sweet potatoes. Oh, and things hurt that never hurt when I was pregnant with Maya. Not complaining about it though-it simply means that things are changing in there!

4w6d

Appetite of a wild boar: check

Also, I'm so tired that I can't even finish blogging on the big blog. At 5 this evening I fell asleep for a half hour-it's just past 10 now. Oy!

4w4d

AF due date has arrived... and has NOT shown her ugly face! Temp was up this morning! I'm a happy girl. I may even download a cool pregnancy app for my new phone :)

4w3d

Feeling better today, thankfully.

Found out when my first appointments will be, and they seem like an eternity away. I remember it seeming like that with Maya too, but at least I know why they wait this time around. I hope we are just busy busy busy through the holidays-we see the little bean for the first time on December 30, I will be 9w5d-once we're at that point and see him or her on the ultrasound I'll start feeling a LOT more comfortable!

One day at a time.

But like with Maya, the not feeling anything makes me nervous. The bloating has gone away, though when my belly is full of food or water it pushes out. Only about a week and a half until the point where I started feeling completely nauseous with Maya-while I should be cherishing this last bit of time, I'd rather feel sick. The sicker you feel the safer you are.

4w2d

Scariest morning yet. Woke up to spotting-old spotting-so I decided to skip my walk and just rest. It's stopped, but I'm still freaked out. Didn't help that I had a dream this morning that I miscarried, that's the second one in a week. hCG is still looking good, I'm going to buy more tests today to monitor.

But on a positive dream note, Laci messaged me today telling me that she had a dream that I was pregnant! Strange. I can't wait to tell her she was right... I just hope by then she's still right!

4w1d

I'm super glad the holidays start this week. That way, by the time it's all done, I'll be 9 weeks along (on Christmas day) and I'll feel a LOT less nervous! I'll even feel a lot better after Wednesday, when AF is actually due. Blessing and a curse that charting and early detection tests can let you know so early...

Also, if I ever wonder in the future, this is when the 6 bathroom visits in an hour kicked in after a sole bottle of water with dinner.



Dear baby: please keep growing and keep cozy in there! I promise to eat lots of nutritious foods and take lots of cozy naps to give you everything you need. Please please please just stay in there!

3w6d

It's official now! Got the confirmation after an interesting trip to the Naval Hospital. I swear, pregnancy confirmations for me is NOT as simple as it is with everyone else-of course, because I am more nervous than most.

I called Naval this morning to ask if I needed an appointment with my PCM, but they said no, just come to the front desk and tell them you need a test. Patrick got out of work early today, so instead of having to take Patrick to work next week to have the car we decided to swing by when he got back-so we went, signed in, and waited. And waited. For an hour. Until everyone had gone home, including the lady who checked me in, and the night crew was there. Finally someone asked what was going on, some people probably will get in trouble tomorrow, they tried to send me to the lab and it was closed... so the nurse had me just take the test there and promised to call with the results before she left since we had a hassle getting it (and I would've had to wait until Monday had it gone to the lab anyway, so that's a huge plus! No waiting like a crazy woman over the weekend).

So now I'm getting excited. Scared since it's so early, but excited nonetheless. I'm afraid of Maya giving it away-she says "baby belly mommy" and if you ask her where the baby is she'll say "belly mommy" (aww!).

My belly is huge, I'm still massively bloated. If you want to know how bloated, go look at my 13 week picture from when I was pregnant with Maya. Can't wait till it goes down-I don't want to look like I got fat huge fast!

3w5d

I'm pregnant!!

It's been a long year. Loooong year. It took us 7 months to get pregnant with Maya, and I never in my wildest dreams thought it would take 13 months with this one. Granted, I'm so fortunate I'm pregnant at all-some it takes years, some never get there-so I'm counting my blessings and am praying this baby sticks with us.

In Jacksonville, there were four different doctors who said I was fine, fine, fine. This is after a summer from hell medically (after I had Maya)-just a lot of problems. When we moved down here every doctor we've dealt with has been amazing, super helpful, and proactive. So in the past 6 months, between Patrick and I we have had a (horribly painful) test, a surgery, and a laparoscopy. I'm downing the Geritol every day while he snacks on Brazil nuts. I lost about 10 pounds over the summer too, to rule out weight, and so I'm happy to be at a healthier starting point than I would have been.

All this combined has made each month increasingly difficult, stressful, and emotional for me. I'm not sure that I would have lasted much longer, honestly! But, those six tests (hahaha) go to show that combined infertility is not the end all-even though it sure feels like it with every big nasty negative test.

***

So this month, probably a week or two ago, Patrick tells me that he just feels differently about this month, really positive about it. Fast forward to Saturday-I took the most massive nap ever, and was still exhausted and fell right to sleep that night. Same thing happened on Monday and Tuesday too-I can't tell you the last time I napped before that. Usually when I do I can't sleep at night.

A few days ago I had a shirt on that just made me look massive. I looked like I've gained about 5 pounds-my belly just stuck out all gross-like. I stepped on the scale, scared to see the number-and not a pound had been gained. I knew then it was bloat, which I've never experienced other than right at the beginning of my pregnancy with Maya (if you look back at old pictures of us getting ready for the Sweetheart Banquet at church in 2008 you can see my belly sticking out the same way it is now-that's before I found out I was pregnant with her, I remember crying about it because I thought I had gained weight and I had "NOTHING to wear!"). I told Patrick a few days ago that I wouldn't be surprised if I was pregnant.

Since I'm obsessed, I started testing at 6DPO (I knew I wouldn't find out either way, but like I said, I'm obsessed). Nothing at 7DPO, nothing at 8 either. So last night I was rummaging around to find my fourth test for this morning but realized I had used it last month after a very strange cycle. All I had was a digital test, and I know that takes quite a bit more hormone than my cheapie dollar tests to register, so I said forget it, I'll test at 10DPO (tomorrow-Friday.)

This morning I got up and used the bathroom when Patrick was getting ready for work. Usually that makes me not waste a test unnecessarily. I went back to sleep for about an hour, and when I got up I just felt a little queasy-so I figured ah, whatever. I'm obsessed. Obsessed people waste tests, especially expensive digital ones. So I took the test, and stood there brushing my teeth while it was waiting... and it seemed to "wait" forever... and my jaw DROPPED when the "pregnant" word popped up! Total denial, I'm NOT used to seeing that (obviously).

I flipped, didn't really know what to do, so I woke Maya up-I happened to have the car today, so I triiiiied my hardest to get her to hurry and get up so we could run to Food Lion and get more tests (obsessive) but she really wanted some oatmeal. Fine, I made the oatmeal, but of course she was horsing around with it, taking her sweet time. I was going to make a cute shirt for Maya to wear for Patrick to find out that just said "big sister" on it, but it was a ridiculously busy morning anyway, so I knew I wouldn't have time. I had been telling Maya there was a baby in my belly (so she's the first person I told... awww) so she was saying "baby, belly" (I hope she doesn't spill the beans to anyone else before we tell them!) so I called Patrick and said "hey, you've GOT to hear what your daughter is saying" and she wouldn't say anything at first... I thought it was going to be a bust... and then she said it. Patrick just laughed, and said "haha, baby belly" ...and then I was quiet... and then he said "wait WHAT?!" I just think both of us were so shocked after it's taken SO long. We're so so so beyond thrilled!

So now we start this. We're taking our time, I'll call Naval next week to get a test to confirm, and start my doctor's appointments then-I'm so BARELY pregnant it's absurd-I won't even be 4 weeks until Saturday (which is fun because Maya's "new week" started on Saturdays too). I'm due July 30, so thankfully I won't spend the ENTIRE summer hugely pregnant!

Now. Is it all in my head, or can I feel things moving around down there?